mummy & me hammam experience (aka "how i got my buttcrack scrubbed while my kid played nearby")

For my birthday last year, an old friend gave me a "mummy & me" hammam and gommage spa gift certificate at Bangsar Village II's Hammam (3rd floor). Under the package, Hammam offers to amuse your child while you get your pampered treatment in the same room. I hadn't had a chance to use the certificate yet and decided to go last Weds as it was expiring that Saturday itself. Since it was a Mummy & me treatment, the only available spot was at 530pm or 715 pm so that your child isn't a bother to the other guests, I'm guessing. So off my youngest child (aged 1 year & 3 months) and I went, sneaking behind my older daughter's back as she was already above the age limit (5 years old). Ok then, straight to the treatment itself (you don't need to know how hillariously embarrassing it was trying to change into a tiny allegedly free size disposable tube top and panties while trying to stop your toddler from playing with the metal bin which holds other discarded disposable garments...eeewww, maybe the reason for the separately timed sessions is not so much the kiddies' crying disturbing the tranquility of the hammam but more the hyper mummy constantly whispering "No! No! Don't touch that!" every other minute.

So anyway, back to the hammam & gommage bit. There were 2 women assigned to us, one for me and the other for my cchild. Now we're getting to the good stuff, a hammam & gommage treatment involves being bathed and scrubbed in a heated bathing room. So my son and I sat opposite each other as we BOTH got bathed at the same time by our respective attendants. That was surreal man, I was being bathed like a child in front of my own child. Weird and strangely comforting at the same time, it's a long time since I have felt taken care of or spoilt like that, to have someone pour pails of lovely warm water over you, knead yummy smelling soaps over your body, totally unnecessary as of course you can do it yourself but utterly heavenly. The key to enjoying this experience is of course no eye contact with your...bather? As she hoists your disposable undergarments this way and that to gain..ehem..access, you have to keep chanting to yourself "she's seen all this a million times, she has seen all this a million times".

So bathing done, lovely, kid still happily splashing with the water, no tantrums. Now comes the scrub. I'm asked to lie down on my stomach, which is very nice and relaxing and she starts scrubbing the dead cells off my arms using bath mitts, so far so good, next scrubbing my legs, hmmm relaxing. I smile at my baby sitting across from me who is now being lathered with chocolate shower gel, his chubby little belly glistening with bubbles, aw bless, how adora-- "what the hell???" Bather girl sneaked in her scrub mitt down my redundant disposable panties and just scrubbed where the sun don't shine!!!! Oh my God....this is soooo not what i signed up for and other than extreme mortification on my part, I sneak a look at her as she is sweating with the effort of scrubbing my enormous body and think "Man that is a thankless job, imagine how many buttcracks she has had to scrub today." (I now only just realised that I don't know how many butts those bath mitts have given a seeing to...dear God)

Later, my baby and I are wrapped in fluffy white towels and robes and placed on a chaise lounge and given sweet hot tea and baklava to eat. I use my baby shamelessly to get more pieces of baklava (Having kids has its perks). 

Much later that evening as I return to reality, I feel at least for the moment much more serene and at peace with the world as I wash the milk bottles and pack the children's bags for school/nursery the next day.