Countdown

This is it.

The lawyers have written to me yesterday to inform that the refinancing bank is going to issue the cheque this Friday to settle the redemption sum of my current bank. This is what I've been waiting to be finalised before I can tender in my resignation. God, I'm scared. This is a huge step for me, a total change in 'career' path, from legal to professional housewife and mother. As part of the terms of employment of my new position, I will have to deal with a baby who has just discovered the power of screaming and whining, on a 24/7 basis and cook all meals everyday for her and then for me and my husband, do the laundry and keep the house clean. I know this sounds like nothing to a lot of women who've been doing it all this while but it is a big deal for me. We pretty much eat out all the time and I only prepare meals for my baby and as for housework, my husband and I like to play a little game called "wh0 can stand the longest living in this filth" and whoever cracks first gets to vacuum the house and wash the toilets. I was up late last night worrying about this. Then I look at my daughter sleeping next to me. My angel. My sweet lovable screaming machine. I know I will regret it if I don't do this, if I don't spend all these precious early years of her childhood with her, not just the few hours per day and the 2 days per week, but all the hours of all the days. God, give me the strength to do this. It's scary but in my heart, I know this is what's right for me.

So, waiting for the cheque to clear and the instructions from the new bank to start paying...once I get that, it's time to really do it. Walk the talk. Note to self: Don't go chicken on me now!!