True Heroes

Over the weekend, a close uncle passed away.


But it is not his passing away that touched me so much, it is more the lesson and example that his wife showed that struck a chord.


My uncle has been ill for many years, at least 13 years. Its a genetic hereditary thingy that affects the nerves, rendering him more and more immobile. Over the years, he totally lost the use of his arms and legs, rendering him a total vegetable. He had to rely on others for the simple acts of eating, washing, going to toilet, even sitting up.


God works in mysterious ways. Their first child was blessed with Down Syndrome. So while his brothers and sisters all went off to schools and colleges all over the country, it was him who stayed home and tended to his father while his mom was at work. 


Over the years, his wife took care of his needs. Yet. we have never seen her complaint, nor have we ever seen her get impatient with him. Everytime I see him at family gatherings, I just have to look away coz I just cant bear to see him in such a pitiful state. In his hey days, he was the exuberant, fun uncle. So it was very hard to see him totally frail and weak.


I don't know how she does it. I don't know if I would have the patience or stamina to do what she did if I were in her shoes. She was the sole breadwinner, taking care of her invalid husband and 7 children. But, as far as we could see, she would always treat him gently, lovingly.


So when he finally passed on, we all thought that it was for the best, both for him as well as for her. I'd think that it would be liberating for her. But still, she cried forlornly when she lost him. The children, who had to grow up before their time, all cried for the loss of their father that they had taken care of. 


I envy the dedication and love that she has for him. The peace that she has within herself, the acceptance of the fate that has been dealt for her. 


I have nothing but the utmost respect for my uncle's wife and his children. They are true heroes.