simple pleasures i.e. isi perut ramblings

As I get older, I am starting to appreciate simple pleasures more, especially as I hear about friends my age falling ill and feel my own body's deterioration. Today's simple pleasure - tengah hujan2 lebat ni, I went down from the office to buy karipap panas baru goreng kat Aji Don, lari (or rather cuba lari) cepat2 ke ofis, buat nescafe panas, bite into still warm crispy curry puff....sedapnya....nikmatnya....nyum nyum...sekian, laporan blog saya hari ini.

My boy

My second child, who will be turning 3 next month, is adopted. Coincidentally, my good friend who shares my room in the office also has an adopted son, who is 6 this year. Her sister also has an adopted child, who is I think 9 or 10 years old. And another friend has an adopted child who is around 12 years old if I'm not mistaken. I always planned, when I was seriously considering about adopting, to be as honest as I can be with my adopted child about where he came from. My mother worries that I am going to be too honest to the point of bluntness. She is worried that the truth will not set my son free but instead, leave him hanging in the wind - there you go, 2 clichés in one sentence. So I've always looked to these 3 friends who are my guinea pigs in a way to see how they are dealing with their adopted kids and the effects of their sometimes different approaches. The ones with the oldest adopted kids: One of them is absolutely open about the adoption, to the point of visiting her adopted child's biological family at least once a year. Another is the total opposite, her adopted child does not know at all that he is adopted. And the third friend, the mom of the boy who is 6, has been setting the groundwork for a few years now. Even before he was old enough to really understand, she has been telling him as a matter of fact that he has a daddy and two mommies, one of the mommies is her and the other is the one who carried him in her belly. Of all the 3 approaches, this is the one I am adopting (heh) so far. I have a copy of the IC of my boy's biological mum, so I spread out photos of our family members and he points them out, "Ni Mummy, ini Papa, tu Kakak, tu Atok, tu Nenek, ni "MakCu". When I point to his biological mum's IC, I say to him "Ini Mak" and he parrots me. I point to myself again "Ini Mummy" and point to her "Ini Mak" then I tell him that he grew inside her belly and we both love him very much and by this time I am already sobbing and hugging him tight. Man, when did I start getting this emotional? I found and bought Jamie Lee Curtis' book "Tell Me Again About The Night I Was Born" and read that to him. And again by the time I get to the end, I am just barely holding it together. I don't know what the outcome will be as he gets older. I already foresee he is going to ask "Why? Why did she give me away?". I have a prepared answer (along the lines of "She loved you so much she wanted you to have a complete family") but I don't know if he'll be satisfied with that answer. I think it's inevitable that he will want to meet her and I have to be prepare myself and be okay with the possibility that he may even want to live with her for a time. I love him so so much, I have to be okay with that, if that is what he wants, if that will make him happy...so why am I tearing up as I type about this currently hypothetical situation? Man, Wednesdays are an emotional time...

Worried about money ramblings

I don't know how much longer I can keep working in legal practice(like quitting is an option...ANYWAY), it's wearing me down, all the people, all their problems and with conveyancing work, it becomes personal because it deals with their homes, their money and .....I am just tired..it's been one of those months where it feels like everyone's a bit money desperate, everyone's budget (and tempers) are tight and we're in the middle of it, trying to pacify vendors not to terminate the contract, trying to reason with purchasers why vendors are asking for late payment penalty and everyone is dumping their sob stories on us. We get it, we truly do...it's just that, we're not exactly rolling in it either, we are also trying to make ends meet, trying to keep this practice going, making sure the staff gets paid on time, we are getting hit by the petrol and price hikes too and I am waiting with a heavy heart for the upcoming budget announcement which I foresee is not going to be good for us, the small businesses, especially in our field, there are already rumours of RPGT increase which will result in a slowdown of people buying and selling properties which results in less business for us in a year where there is already less business...but there I go, whining again. At least for this month, I have enough God willing to pay for food and parking and my credit card's still valid for my kid's birthday present early next month. I'll just go with the flow, hack it for as long as I can, think about next month's overheads and my own personal overheads next month. At least, we can still afford to eat and eat well. And these days, not many people can even say that.