Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Prime Minister of lalaland

Just came back from a meeting during which I kept screaming in my head "who gives a damn" and fantasising about taking over the world and de-globalising it. Everyone would go back to planting their own food, spending the whole day with their family, cooking and baking from scratch...ah, the good old days. The simple life, that's what I want. Hmmmm, now that I'm on a roll and trying to avoid doing actual work, this is a list of things I would do if I were Prime Minister of Malaysia (all part of thinking small first, planning to do up the list of things I would do if I were queen of the world on another day when I want to avoid work). ANYWAY, here is my action task list as PM:

1. Really widen the rail transit network - I am so damn sick of bus drivers treating the buses like their own personal vehicles and showing up whenever - if ever - at the bus stops, especially when it's raining. I also have my own personal prejudice against bus drivers because a few years ago one of them crushed my new toscano handbag - the one I bought with my own blood and sweat and tears- with the stupid bus door, all because he was too busy staring at the cleavage of the girl in front of me. I am also damn sick of taxi drivers who never stop for me or refuse to take me where I want to go because of traffic jam - you're a freaking taxi driver, for God's sake! A car for hire! I'm paying you to drive me! And you go and act like it's some huge favour if you let me in your taxi. So that's my number one priority - get more trains, make them cheaper and get everyone to use them as the number 1 public transport. I don't see the point of widening the roads, which is what we seem to be fond of doing here, the number of cars will only continue to increase over the years, what's the point of wasting billions on the road, only to have it jammed up again in a couple of years when those same billions can be pumped into rail transit.

2. Outlaw motorcycles. There's too many of them swerving around, risking their own lives and my car for me not to outlaw them. The only kickback is, there goes my grassroot votes for the next election...ANYWAY, onto the next agenda:

3. Increase maternity leave to 6 months and gradually to 12 months, but only the first 3 months will be paid leave. After that, it's the woman's right to take the remaining months off but on an unpaid basis.

4. Make it fun to learn in schools again. More activities and projects and field trips, less exam-based memorising but not understanding type of learning. I look at schoolkids today and wonder where the joys of being a kid has gone to. Have you seen their bags? Have you heard about the amount of homework they get? And this is just kindergarten!

5. No more outriders for any minister or royalty. You are the country's leaders. You should get stuck in the traffic jam like the rest of us. The only downside is that if I'm PM, that means me too...sigh.

6. Review allowances given to royalty. Why is it we are giving them money when we're not paying more to policemen, firemen, army who risk their lives.

7. I'm running out of steam here....Lulu, any more you want to add?

Why I shouldn't have trusted Jimmy Smits

I just read in the news today that researchers have discovered that elephants can recognise themselves in mirrors. I soooo made the wrong choice in my career path. Why did I think that a law degree was going to lead to a fulfilling life? I blame LA Law for this. Anyway, back to the elephant. How cool is that researcher's job? Getting to spend time outdoors with animals, bonding with nature (I'm such a hippy wannabe). This is why I should have spent more than 5 minutes on my degree application form instead of flirting with the boy next to me. Who knows where I could be right now instead of stuck in this windowless cubicle with a floating Windows as my screen saver. Could be worse, I guess. I could be the elephant forced to look at myself in the mirror all day.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Career ambition: housewife

Ever since I was in school, I've been drilled on the fact that having a career was goooood, staying at home was baaaad. What a load of bullshit. With all due respect to the women out there who really want to have jobs and career advancement, it's just not for me. I'm stuck here in this so-called career path because we can't survive on one paycheck alone. If we could just even meet the mortgage, car installment and bills, I would be out of here. Who needs food right?
I feel more fulfilled and more useful when I'm at home, taking care of my baby, feeding her food I've cooked fresh instead of reheating frozen icecubes of food made over the weekend, talking with her, playing with her, reading to her. At the end of each day, I would feel tired, but a good kind of tired. The tired where you feel you've actually done something productive, instead of churning out paperwork that nobody really reads or gives a shit about or actually affect the universe in any meaningful or even meaningless way other than causing a tree to have died in vain. The only thing harder than being stuck in this office while someone else gets to see my daughter walk for the first time and share her smiles and laughter is the realisation that it's probably going to be like this for the next 20 years....unless by some miracle, my husband gets a high paying job or the costs of living & education reduces significantly. I don't know if I can last to the end of the year, much less 20 more years of this....I really got to do something about this. I can't go on whingeing and bitching for the next 2 decades that "I want to stay at home."

Monday...Nooooo!!!!!

Monday morning...and the usual blaaahs that come with it.

Especially a Monday morning after a long break away from the office.

Especially a Monday morning after a long break away from the office, greeted with an email from the boss wanting something done asap.

Ah, fuck it. Actually, that's what I'd like for my birthday - a big rubber stamp with the words "fuck it" that I can stamp on all the files on my desk right before I send in my notice to resign with immediate effect.

Friday, October 20, 2006

It's A Friday!!! Yeaaayyyyy...

Lalalalalalalala.. it's a Friday.. It's the last day before a week long holiday.. Lalalalalala.. And even though my bosses are breathing down my neck, even though they are out for my blood, I don't care.... Lalalalalala.. As Annie would say.. "Tomorrow.. Tomorrow.. I love you.. Tomorrow.." Lalalalalala..

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

fantasy lala land

I've just started reading "Empress Orchid" by Anchee Min, about the last Empress of China. I have a thing for books about historical concubines, particularly on the royal concubines in China because there were just thousands of them, all for one emperor. I especially love reading or watching movies showing what they wore, how they ate or spoke. It was such an age of luxurious decadence. And although they were concubines i.e. hardly creatures of virtue, they were bound by such strict codes of conduct. I think that paradox is what fascinates me. I wonder what it must be like to live a life of such luxury. I wonder about the new second wife of the Sultan of Brunei. How does her day start? Do her maids in waiting wipe the sleep from her eyes with cotton wool dipped in flower-scented water? Has a bath already been drawn for her, strewed with even more flower petals? Afterwards, are various lotions gently rubbed into her face and skin and her shoulders massaged before dressing her in the softest of silks?

Yes, this is what comes from reading too many Mills & Boons and historical romances in my formative years.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Tommy Page, for God's sake

A few weeks ago, I was driving to work and suddenly, Tommy Page came on the radio with his song "Shoulder to Cry On". I was OBSESSED with that song when it first came out here in 1989. I was 14 and fell deeply in love with the sappy words of the chorus "everyone needs a shoulder to cry on...and when the whole world's gone, you'll always have my shoulder to cry on". I also had the hugest crush on this older boy, who I thought was so wise and worldly at the time but was actually a bit an ass, come to think of it. Looking back at both of them now, I have to ask myself, 'What the hell was I thinking?!'

Still in Lala-Land

Flashback-1991. I am 16, sitting in my dorm room, surrounded by books and assignments which have to be sent in tomorrow, thinking "Shit! shit! shit!". It's 3pm in the afternoon. I should have started on all this yesterday or at the latest, first thing this morning. There's no way I can get all of it done now. And so what do I do? Do I start slogging through furiously and try to finish as much as I possibly can? Do I at least try and sort out the work by priority?

Noooo. That would be way too mature. Instead, I retreat to my lala land, my happy place, located behind a tattered hand-me-down Mills & Boons and a bar of chocolate almond. Somehow, someway, it will all sort itself out by the morning. Tomorrow is another day is the motto I live by.

Fast forward. It's 2006. I am bloody 31, sitting in my cubicle, surrounded by documents which I have to vet through and report on by 5pm today and I am thinking "Shit! shit! shit!" It's 3pm in the afternoon. Why do I never learn?? So I do what I do best. I return to my lala land, now known as this blog, with my faithful chocolate bar beside me and blog all my troubles away.