Hoarder Hoarder

Had to do a little bit of moving over the weekend. Landlord decided that he wanted to do a major renovation in the house I was renting, so we had to vacate the house to a temporary one while the works are going on.


God it was tiring! I didn't realize I had so much crap kept in the house! Apart from boxes and boxes and boxes of books, the other biggest group of stuff I had was crap! And I blame it on my hoarder personality. I just can't bring myself to throw anything away. Over the course of almost 14 years of marriage, I must have moved 4 times. And back and forth, I lug my crap from one house to another just because I just can't throw anything away. (Oh wait! I might need that 20 year old restaurant receipt for effing knows what!)


Sheeeshhh.. Now I am having a crappy Monday coz I am tired of hauling all those boxes and bags. I don't know where my stuff are coz we havent unpacked. I had to bunk at my parents' place coz I cant even see the floor of the new place. And I have a whole lot of things that need to be done today, which should have been done last week. Procrastinator hoarder.


So this crabby makcik is set to face another crabby week! Waaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!


Ecah, take me awaayyy!!! Lets become Ellen and Portia, then we can run away together! Waaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

"Young at heart, slightly older in other places"

The above is a direct quote from the birthday card I got from my parents and boy, is it true. Caught myself in the mirror as I was dressing up this morning (usually in too much of a rush most mornings that I only have time to check that my face doesn't look too insane in the car rearview mirror before I drive out) and thought "Man, there's lots of things sagging now that didn't use to sag as much"...gravity has not been kind and this is a direct payback of enjoying lots of food and pretending exercise does not exist as a concept. 

But other than the physical side, this particular birthday, I do feel a sort of change inside me. I don't know if it's because I have been thinking quite a bit about death especially towards the end of last year, morbid thoughts that passed through my mind suddenly like how I'd like to be buried at the Kiara Burial Site I drive past every morning on the way to my son's nursery as there's lots of shady trees there and it looks so...dare I say it, welcoming in a way - it used to be full capacity but they've recently expanded it, even writing that now gives me the chills. And this leads me to worry about my children if I pass away. I know, God willing they'll be alright in terms of being taken care of, am sure my husband and parents will sort those practical things out. But what I also think about are not just their physical well being and education, but about who will think of doing silly things with them, sing silly made up songs in the car with them, take them out on adventures, get them to try new things like rock climbing or karaoke, throw them silly birthday parties, buy endless balloons for them that inevitably get left behind somewhere. Because at the moment, I'm the only one doing all that.

What I'm realising now as I turn 37 is that life is short. The best things in life are free (or doesn't have to cost much) - playing tag with my kids at the lobby of our apartment (which doesn't have a playground or proper playing area for the kids other than the pool), blowing bubbles together, eating ice cream outdoors where it doesn't matter if it drips, dancing badly in the living room, singing (again, badly) Adele or ABBA songs at the top of our voices in the car drive home, flying kites at the "wind-catching" area in Kepong, going through books at TTDI library - the same library (though now expanded and refurbished) I used to go to as a child growing up in TTDI, sitting with my feet in the stream at Kiara Park while I watch my kids play in the water, standing at our balcony and staring up at the night sky and the lights of Genting in the distant hills... having my kids have been the greatest blessing and gift in my life, they have made me stop and look at the simple beautiful things I take for granted - flower blossoms that have fallen on the ground, weirdly shaped clouds. the moon, the stars. Granted, they do drive me crazy most of the time too.

Anyway, this is one bit of me that will never change (do we really ever change anyway?) which is blabbering on and on...especially if it's in the middle of the night and I'm the only one awake at here...

My birthday wish list this year is much simpler than previous years. Today, I just want to skip work, watch a movie and eat ice cream cake. For the first time in my life, I can honestly truly say that I really don't need any birthday presents. Wow...finally, maturity (ye ke? Is this really a sign of maturity?) at 37 years of age....way overdue, I know.

senang senang dulu susah susah kemudian

so here i am with an assignment due that's still not done and it's 2.33 am and i should sleep soon as i have a meeting tomorrow morning...ah, joy...what was i doing earlier at say 8pm or 9 pm or even 10pm? Had i started working on the assignment then? Had i even switched on my computer or at least taken the file out of my bag? nooooooo, that would have been way too responsible of me. Instead, i got hooked on a new novel i just bought at Times called zombijaya, which is like a malay pulp fiction of a zombie apocalyse. Very addictive reading though way too much mencarut. Somehow cursing in malay sounds much worse than in english.

anyway, this assignment is damn boring so here i am in lalaland again. hey there eza. why do we do this to ourselves? are we that starved of an adrenaline rush? do we get high on self-induced stress?

since am still not in the mood to finish boring legal work, let me blabber about my weekend. My old university housemate's apartment block in cheras had a fire on friday, it was the unit not directly below my friend's unit but even after the fire had been put out by the ever so relaxed (walaumacamanapun kita minum dulu) firemen, the stench of the smoke was still overbearing so she and her 2 girls crashed over at our  apartment over the weekend and together with my 2 kids we had an impromptu slumber party. Since i am a lazy hostess and since she knows it having lived with me before, she - the fire smoke victim, brought her own flour, prawns etc and cooked breakfast for us (cucur udang, yum). The kids and us then swam at the pool until it rained then we ordered pizza and ate while watching something on astro which i can't remember now...i love relaxing-lots-of-eating-minimal-effort weekends like these! No weddings to go to, no shopping to be done, no need for malls.

sigh...ok then, back to reality, need to finish up work, wash kids' bottles and get their bags ready for school/nursery tomorrow (kenapa lah tak buat dari tadi....padan muka diri sendiri)...bye bye lalaland...lalalalalalala

mummy & me hammam experience (aka "how i got my buttcrack scrubbed while my kid played nearby")

For my birthday last year, an old friend gave me a "mummy & me" hammam and gommage spa gift certificate at Bangsar Village II's Hammam (3rd floor). Under the package, Hammam offers to amuse your child while you get your pampered treatment in the same room. I hadn't had a chance to use the certificate yet and decided to go last Weds as it was expiring that Saturday itself. Since it was a Mummy & me treatment, the only available spot was at 530pm or 715 pm so that your child isn't a bother to the other guests, I'm guessing. So off my youngest child (aged 1 year & 3 months) and I went, sneaking behind my older daughter's back as she was already above the age limit (5 years old). Ok then, straight to the treatment itself (you don't need to know how hillariously embarrassing it was trying to change into a tiny allegedly free size disposable tube top and panties while trying to stop your toddler from playing with the metal bin which holds other discarded disposable garments...eeewww, maybe the reason for the separately timed sessions is not so much the kiddies' crying disturbing the tranquility of the hammam but more the hyper mummy constantly whispering "No! No! Don't touch that!" every other minute.

So anyway, back to the hammam & gommage bit. There were 2 women assigned to us, one for me and the other for my cchild. Now we're getting to the good stuff, a hammam & gommage treatment involves being bathed and scrubbed in a heated bathing room. So my son and I sat opposite each other as we BOTH got bathed at the same time by our respective attendants. That was surreal man, I was being bathed like a child in front of my own child. Weird and strangely comforting at the same time, it's a long time since I have felt taken care of or spoilt like that, to have someone pour pails of lovely warm water over you, knead yummy smelling soaps over your body, totally unnecessary as of course you can do it yourself but utterly heavenly. The key to enjoying this experience is of course no eye contact with your...bather? As she hoists your disposable undergarments this way and that to gain..ehem..access, you have to keep chanting to yourself "she's seen all this a million times, she has seen all this a million times".

So bathing done, lovely, kid still happily splashing with the water, no tantrums. Now comes the scrub. I'm asked to lie down on my stomach, which is very nice and relaxing and she starts scrubbing the dead cells off my arms using bath mitts, so far so good, next scrubbing my legs, hmmm relaxing. I smile at my baby sitting across from me who is now being lathered with chocolate shower gel, his chubby little belly glistening with bubbles, aw bless, how adora-- "what the hell???" Bather girl sneaked in her scrub mitt down my redundant disposable panties and just scrubbed where the sun don't shine!!!! Oh my God....this is soooo not what i signed up for and other than extreme mortification on my part, I sneak a look at her as she is sweating with the effort of scrubbing my enormous body and think "Man that is a thankless job, imagine how many buttcracks she has had to scrub today." (I now only just realised that I don't know how many butts those bath mitts have given a seeing to...dear God)

Later, my baby and I are wrapped in fluffy white towels and robes and placed on a chaise lounge and given sweet hot tea and baklava to eat. I use my baby shamelessly to get more pieces of baklava (Having kids has its perks). 

Much later that evening as I return to reality, I feel at least for the moment much more serene and at peace with the world as I wash the milk bottles and pack the children's bags for school/nursery the next day.