fear vs unknown pleasure

I am having a lazy day (as if that's any different from every single blinking day here in the office). It's 5 minutes to 12pm..so by default, it's already lunchtime..I don't know why I'm even bothering to justify this to myself, the fact that actually I'm supposedly blogging during my almost-break time.

ANYWAY, what I'm thinking about right now is vibrators. If I can't be brutally honest here in blogworld, then where else right? So......why does no one, including my friends (except you of course lulu) talk about vibrators? I honestly have never owned or used one and I'm 31 years old. And I don't personally know or rather have not been informed by anyone who actually owns one. But I'm curious about it...though maybe not curious enough to try one. Call me chicken shit but I'm terrified of having electricity (albeit hardly 1.5 volts or whatever volts are contained in an AA batteries - I nearly failed my Physics in school but I'm blaming that on the fact that my teacher was having an affair with one of my classmates, she (the teacher) ended up marrying him (my classmate) ten years later) near my nether regions...I don't know why.....ok, yes I do..it's not the fear of being electrocuted. It's the fear of being electrocuted AND being found or having to go to the hospital with a vibrator stuck up my you-know-what then having to face the nurses and the doctors and having it in my charts "Patient has foreign electronic object lodged between...." you get the picture. But I read other honest women's blogs and I watch SATC so I know about THE rabbit etc and the pleasures, oh the many many pleasures it can give...but still..I can't get over my vibro-public humiliation-phobia...so sadly, such pleasures may never be mine.....

No short dicks

I was on the way to work, half-asleep as usual when I suddenly saw something in the car ahead which furiously woke me up. Instead of the usual "Baby on Board" sign, the bastard had pinned up a "No Fat Chicks" sign. What the hell???? On behalf of all fat chicks around the world, I was insulted and furious at the idiot who manufactured the sign and the bigger idiot who bought it and hung it proudly at the back of his small Kancil. I felt like throwing a brick through the windscreen to smash his smug ass. Or maybe instead, I'll hang up a "No short dicks" sign on the back of MY car.

blog

I love reading brutally honest mommy/daddy blogs. Here's one I discovered recently which I looove:
http://motherhooduncensored.typepad.com

Done

Last week I officially tendered in my resignation. The arrangement is that in addition to my one month notice period, I'll be staying on a half-day basis from March 2007 for either a 3 or 6 month period. The company's HR department was unwilling to allow the half-day basis to continue on a permanent basis, I think because they were afraid it would start a precedent. Am quite looking forward to working half-days, in the morning my daughter gets to have her playtime with her buddies and then afterwards, I get to spend time with her...what I'm worried...well not so much worried but thinking about is afterwards when I do quit work full time, how I'm going to find playmates for her....I love playing with her but I can't assume the feeling will always be mutual, I'm sure she'd like friends her own age and size....there's no one her age in our street though...hmmm...it shouldn't be this hard to look for friends for her.

She turned one last Friday....and threw her first public tantrum in Giant supermarket on Sunday. Yes, I was the mother pretending not to look at other people while trying to carry my child who was doing the boneless manouver i.e. arching her back and flailing her arms while screaming at the top of the voice. She has quite a loud voice for such a small body. And all because I wouldn't let her build towers with the raisin boxes in Aisle 9. I quickly took her out and bribed her with some Rice Krispies from my handbag. My handbag has become the diaper bag, the milk bottle bag, the toy bag, the scrunched up bits of tissue bag...I can no longer leave the house with an oh-so-dainty-and-trendy-cute little handbag.

Rough start to 2007

Just recovered from pneumonia. I always assumed that living in a hot climate meant that I didn't have to worry about things like pneumonia. Who knew? It started out as a very bad flu which refused to go away then escalated to fever and non-stop coughing and throwing up. If it was my daughter I would have gone straight to the hospital probably at the first sniffle, since I'm paranoid like that. But since it was just me, I just let it get worse until I was so weak that I had to go to the hospital to get a drip because nothing would stay down. They did an x-ray and told me the bad news and I was hospitalised for about a week. Usually, this would be almost heavenly - a whole week without having to go to work, with people bringing me meals, a nice bed, tv, sleep...but instead it was torturous because my daughter couldn't see me at all, because I was contagious. My poor baby had to be totally weaned cold turkey and I missed her so much that all I could do was think about her every second of the day. My mother in law came to stay to help my husband with the baby then I got all paranoid that they were trying to marginalise me from my baby then I realised how very low self esteem I have and I also realised that spending too much time in an empty hospital room with bad tv was dangerous for my sanity - I started learning how to play sudoku for God's sake and I told myself I wouldn't get sucked into any game that made numbers supposedly fun! The doctor finally let me go home but I'm still on a lot of medication and I still get short of breath sometimes...quite scary actually.

So...a rough start to 2007.

God, I miss breastfeeding..the convenience of it all especially the night time feed...my baby would whimper, I'd just whip it out and go back to sleep and she'd nuzzle and fall back to sleep herself. Now, it's the groggy "it's your turn, no it's your turn" debate before the loser has to get up, sleepily make the bottle of formula, shake it, peer it up against the night light to make sure it's dissolved properly before giving it to the kid. Then having to make sure she doesn't choke or stick the bottle in her ear etc...yes..I miss breastfeeding...I admit I used it as a crutch - get a booboo? sleepy? whining/crying/whimpering/getting into a temper? -here have a boob...and all was well and solved...sigh...it was nice while it lasted.

Laughing Baby

I just love this clip!