True Heroes

Over the weekend, a close uncle passed away.


But it is not his passing away that touched me so much, it is more the lesson and example that his wife showed that struck a chord.


My uncle has been ill for many years, at least 13 years. Its a genetic hereditary thingy that affects the nerves, rendering him more and more immobile. Over the years, he totally lost the use of his arms and legs, rendering him a total vegetable. He had to rely on others for the simple acts of eating, washing, going to toilet, even sitting up.


God works in mysterious ways. Their first child was blessed with Down Syndrome. So while his brothers and sisters all went off to schools and colleges all over the country, it was him who stayed home and tended to his father while his mom was at work. 


Over the years, his wife took care of his needs. Yet. we have never seen her complaint, nor have we ever seen her get impatient with him. Everytime I see him at family gatherings, I just have to look away coz I just cant bear to see him in such a pitiful state. In his hey days, he was the exuberant, fun uncle. So it was very hard to see him totally frail and weak.


I don't know how she does it. I don't know if I would have the patience or stamina to do what she did if I were in her shoes. She was the sole breadwinner, taking care of her invalid husband and 7 children. But, as far as we could see, she would always treat him gently, lovingly.


So when he finally passed on, we all thought that it was for the best, both for him as well as for her. I'd think that it would be liberating for her. But still, she cried forlornly when she lost him. The children, who had to grow up before their time, all cried for the loss of their father that they had taken care of. 


I envy the dedication and love that she has for him. The peace that she has within herself, the acceptance of the fate that has been dealt for her. 


I have nothing but the utmost respect for my uncle's wife and his children. They are true heroes.

Ramadhan

Ramadhan has almost come to its mid mark, and it has not come without challenges this year. With no maid, iftar and sahur is a daily challenge. The hubby wasn't around the first week, so we bunked in at Mom's. Over there, every day is like a buka puasa buffet, lasting till almost 8.30 p.m. I wouldn't mind the lots of food, but then there will be lots of dirty dishes to clear following that. And sahur is no different. Waking up at 4 a.m., sahur would last until 6 a.m., from preparation to actual eating and the cleaning up. By which time, it will already be time to do the laundry, send Sarah to school and go to work. And to top it all off, that was also the week a gazillion things were due at the office. So after iftar, had to work till late to get things done. Was actually in zombie mode that entire week, getting by with only 2 - 3 hours of sleep every day.

With the hubby already back, things are considerably easier. Found short cuts to do things. After iftar at Mom's, we'll go back to our place where I'll cook simple dishes for sahur. Wake the troop up at 4, they'll be done by 4.20. Washing up up done by 4.30. Yeay! A little bit more time for me to catch some sleep.

But this year's Ramadhan is also very blessed. It's Danish's first attempt at fasting, and he has been superb, has not missed out a single day yet. This despite most of his classmates not fasting. Really considerate of his teacher to put him in another room during snack times.

And last weekend, we broke fast at Sunway Hotel's Atrium. Good spread, although a little pricey. Caught the midnight show of Dark Knight Rises. Good show. Although Danish slept through the entire show. Tapau'd sahur on the way back, and it was a pretty enjoyable night.

Happy Ramadhan dear..