Tick Tock Tick Tock Time Is Ticking and I Am Fucked

Went to Pertama Complex today to search for an outfit for an event that I am emceeing next month. A little nostalgic when I was there. I used to haunt that place during my courting years (read: no car, only the ever reliable bas mini). Walking past the video game joints, I realised that it was more than 10 years ago that I hung out at that place. The place has not changed. It still looks the same, it still smells the same, it still feels the same.

Then came the scary part.. I was still the same! Albeit 15 kgs and god-knows-how-much-I-dont-care-to-think-about-it centimetres more, but otherwise I was still the same. What have I achieved? Damn.. I am almost 32.. I am expected to achieve something by this age. Even if I did achieve something now, no one would be surprised anymore, coz, it is just what is expected from a 32 year old middle age (shudder..) woman. I am setting my target at 35. God.. I'd better achieve something by that age.. What? I don't know.. something.. Win a nobel prize in thermodynamics? Discover the secrets of the bermuda triangle? Act in a Hollywood blockbuster? Write a world best seller novel? Win American Idol? Whatever.. I am freaking out coz I think I dont have enough time anymore..

At least you've got the firm.. sigh.. you are so grown up Lala..

I Am Such a Sucker

I am such a sucker for all these get-rich-quick schemes. At my age, I should be old (and wise?) enough to know that there is no such thing as an easy get rich scheme. Yet, time and time again I am drawn to these programs.

My latest adventure was attending a preview of one such event last week at the JW Marriott... Granted it was an official thingy, coz my boss got one of their emails and thought that it was a marketing course and told me to go check it out. I knew from the start that it was one of those internet marketing thingy, but hey, I get to go out of the office, plus I get to window shop at BB / Sg. Wang, if only for about 30 minutes.

So there I was at the preview with my immediate boss. As expected, there was this usual hype about how easy it is to make money on the internet. The steps are so simple, that you can do it in your sleep, yadidadidadida.. So for a limited time, they are offering a chance to be coached by the Guru of all Guru, who will be ensure that participants will make millions in nanoseconds. Oh btw, the program would cost RM5,000, because even though the founder of the program is a gazzillionaire, he still needs the money to run the course, and to weed out the serious marketeer from the other parasites. But out of the goodness of his heart, if we were to sign up on the preview day itself, he would slash down the price to RM1,998. Plus, if we were one of the first 20 participant to sign up, we get to bring another friend for FREE! Plus we will be entitled to gazillion more freebies that if we were to purchase ourselves, would cost us millions of dollars yadidadidadia..

Sigh, the pitch was not much different from the e-books that I have bought on the subject (trust me, I have obtained quite a few in my time!), and wasnt really convinced, but my boss was kinda green (a.k.a a virgin sucker) in this field. So he was taken by the presenter's charm and pitch. So taken, that he practically ran up to me asking me whether I want to join the course.

Now, of course I would want to! (Reminder : I AM A BIG SUCKER!) I've always wanted to join these programs, but I was not about to pay RM1,998 to be suckered again! Mr Boss said that we'll get the company to fork the bill. He will pay for the course first, and claim from the company later. Pucuk dicita ulam mendatang! Of course lah I want.

So I will be attending the "Unleash Your Marketing Genius - UYMG" by Stephen Pierce in September at KLCC. I dont expect much, but I hope to be surprised..

Peace Is Overrated

I was in JB / Singapore last week. Flew in to JB on a Tuesday, drove in to Singapore on Wednesday morning and flew back to KL the same night via JB. Anyway, I am not gonna write about what I did in Singapore (pretty boring stuff.. Communic Asia, met a few people, sakit kaki trying to visit all 9 halls etc etc etc).

The trip was eye opening for me, in the sense that I went on this business trip on my own. I usually try to bring my kids along whenever I am on assignment outside KL. This time, because it involved a trip to Singapore (hence need for passport - which btw is so darn expensive to make!), I decided to go at it all by myself.

I was actually kind of looking forward to the trip. After almost 13 months of not enough sleep, I was looking forward to an uninterrupted 8 hours of long peaceful sleep, without having to worry about coughs and colds, without having to wake up to make that bottle. I was looking forward to having the big bed all to myself without being kicked in the face by tiny feet every few minutes. I was looking forward to spending some quiet quality time all by myself in the hotel room. I actually bought two books for myself, thinking and drooling about those long hours that I would have aaaaallllllll to myself.

Guess what? I lasted all of 5 minutes. Right after checking in to my hotel room, I flicked on the TV, and jumped into the bed with my book. 5 minutes later, all the quiet and peace got to me. I caved, and called hubby to check on the kids. I was jittery, like a crack craving junkie. I had about 4 hours to kill that evening before I had to meet up with the rest of my party for dinner. I could curl up in bed with that book like I planned. I could watch mindless TV endlessly.. I could I could I could. But I didnt.

I ended up taking a cab to a nearby shopping complex. I thought, that's still not so bad. I can enjoy the window shopping peacefully without straining my arms carrying a wriggling baby with two other kids hanging on to my dress and whining all the way. I could find a quiet cafe and sit down with my book. Did I do that? Noooooo... I was in and out of that complex in 20 minutes flat. Grabbed another cab and went to another shopping centre, this time a little further away from the hotel. Time taken to tour the complex before I got bored? 15 minutes. So I went back to the hotel to get ready for dinner. I still had 45 minutes to spare.

After dinner, was looking forward to staying up to read my book, with a bar of chocolate all to myself. No pudgy hands trying to steal my chocolates and messing my book. No whines for "just 5 more minutes". No bed time stories. No rocking and swaying to pujuk a baby to sleep, a baby who btw enjoys infuriating the mother by insisting on playing when its time for bed.

I was out by 10.30.

I was looking forward to the 8 hours of uninterrupted peaceful slumber.

I was up at 4 a.m., and I couldnt go back to sleep.

Turns out all this peace and quiet is not for me.. Sigh..

Now I am back to my 2 x 4 hours of sleep, wolfing down food while at the same time trying to keep the baby from falling off the baby chair and making sure that the other two kids are eating more than just rice and kicap. Total number of pages read? 10.

And I have never been happier.

midnight ramblings

am watching david rocco's dolce vita on tv - they really shouldn't have programmes which show husbands making yummy lasagnes for their wives on their anniversary. that's just depressing.

they should bring ready steady cook to astro - now that's my kind of reality tv!

submitted a story to a publisher months ago...why haven't they replied and make my jk rowling dreams come true???!!!

my daughter who is not yet 2 can yell out "Elmo!" like a deranged fan when she spots him/it on tv. have caved in and bought her an elmo vcd. should buy me about 30 mins of peace...i have a love/hate relationship with barney and elmo, i hate them yet love them for the pockets of sanity they provide.

oh my god, now that bloody david rocco is taking his wife on a shoe shopping spree as an anniversary treat!! come on already! i can't even remember what we did on our last wedding anniversary..that's how exciting it was.

first proper night out

ever so exciting. tonight i went out with an old friend after 8pm, leaving my daughter asleep with her father as the designated babysitter. i don't think i've been out properly since she was born. to celebrate, i went out with just my purse and handphone - no handbag full of diaper/milk bottle/toddler snacks/toys/wet wipes/plastic bag for emergency puking (for her not me). tonight i was a free woman - until midnight at least!

we didn't go out anywhere exciting - just to cheras selatan mall about 5 mins from our respective houses (thank you jaya jusco for coming to our part of cheras!) but it was lovely to have a peaceful meal as just me and to be able to talk for hours with my friend like old times. after dinner, we continued our bitching/whingeing/gossip session at starbucks where like the 2 old ladies that we are, we had hot cocoa instead of the coffees we used to have years ago - it was already way past our bedtimes.

simple though it was, i really enjoyed myself - an exciting friday night for me!

Kain batik heroins

Reading about Eza's kain pelikat heroes drama (Oh my God!!! Were you freaked out tak? Or were you confident that by then the burglar was already kat 7-11 having a Coke?) reminded me of the kain batik heroins of 1992.

Scene: Top floor of girl's dorm in co-ed boarding school.
Total no of residents: About 50-60 hormonal easily excited 16 year old girls
Event: Break in by a small group of boys from the boy's dorm next door.

I woke up that night to the sound of running stamping feet. Was about to shout at people to shut up and what the hell were they doing playing tag in the middle of the night when it hit me to get out of bed and join in the running - it could be a fire for all I knew! 2 minutes later I watched in amazement as 2 kain batik heroins, my fellow dormmates in full-on girl power mode capturing one of the intruders and whacking him with a stick! I was as good as a pakcik in pagoda t shirt with tongkat - standing there mouth wide open like an idiot but no doing anything. Luckily my other dormmates quickly went to help the heroins and the finale of the night was the unveiling of the intruder-a quiet boy I don't think I have ever spoken to (It's always the quiet ones)!

That was one exciting school night. I don't think we all slept much after that. Just made bowls & tupperwares of maggi and sat around gossiping - all shocked but equally excited as well - this was an EVENT!

Kain Pelikat Heroes

A burglar broke into my neighbour's house last night. Hubby was on the way out to pick up Adam from Kumon when he got the call. He was in front of the house in 2 minutes. Dad, with tongkat and track pants and pagoda T-shirt, bravely made his way to that house. Bro-in-law, upon hearing the news, jumped out of bed and ran straight to that house, bypassing dad-with-tongkat-and-track-pants-and-pagoda-shirt along the way. Within 5 minutes, the whole neighbourhood was in front of the house. Apparently the burglar was still inside.

Hubby and bro-in-law, idiots that they were, climbed over the gate and hollered for that burglar to come out. As if lah that hardened criminal will buckle and pee in his pants and willingly come out because these two not so strong looking men were yelling for him to come out.

The point I am trying to ponder is, is it better to be a live coward or a dead hero? I was kinda angry with the two of them for jumping over the fence and trying to challenge the burglar. What if that guy had a gun or something? What if there were more than one of them in the house? The rest of the neighborhood are made up of people resembling dad-with-tongkat-and-track-pants-and-pagoda-shirt. One came out with baju melayu and kain pelikat and a stick. Another got as far as his own gate before panting and went back in. So I guess I can forgive these pensioners for waiting outside the gate while those two idiots were inside playing Batman & Robin. (btw, once the police came, suddenly all these pensioners became brave superheroes and went into the house, stick, kain pelikat and all).

But if I were those people being burglared, I would like for someone to actually try to do something, rite? My house is being burglared! What are those people doing just ogling outside my gate with their kain pelikat, pagoda shirts, tongkat and stick? Help me, damn it!

It was an exciting night though. Two police cars came, branding pistols and M16s. Flashing their flashlights in the longkang. Climbing up the roof. Going through all the closets. It also showed how caring the neighborhood was. Within 5 minutes we had a nice crowd on the street already. Kinda makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside thinking that these pakciks are willing to come out when an emergency arise.

Anyway, the guy got away. Probably laughing all the way at the super heroes wannabe. He climbed over a neighbor's fence and fled. Or maybe climbed over the neighbour's fence, took a walk, and came back to join the onlookers / heroes wannabes, and calmly lending hubby that flashlight. Who knows?

BBQ Birthday

Last weekend we had a BBQ do at home, for Danish's and Nani's birthday, as well as for the upcoming Father's Day. Talk about cheap. Cramming all the festivities into one.

Nothing like having kids to make you feel old. Just yesterday he was this miniature, thumb sucking, wailing, just-lying-there-doing-nothing sucking-on-your-tits person. Now he has established his own moods, and is not shy about expressing them at the top of his voice. He no longer sucks on his thumb, maybe coz he has teeth now. He doesn't fit fully on my lap anymore, though he still likes to crawl from across the room and curl into my lap.

Sigh.. is it time to have another one? Probably wait until the government declare the 3 months maternity before I start thinking of the next one.

full circle

the firm will start operating next month...God, still a bit freaked about this...i keep thinking back to when I vowed never to return to legal practice and here i am, back at square one...i usually don't break promises i've made to myself.

whining again about being fat but not really doing much about it

I'm getting fatter again.

This time last year I was breastfeeding full time and still adjusting to taking care of a baby, often not having the time or energy to eat. Now, as queen of multitasking, I'm fully able to feed/play/entertain/sing silly songs/doing silly dances/etc for my little girl all while stuffing my face-not just with my own food but from her leftovers or food which she's dropped on the floor that I can't be arsed to walk to the kitchen to throw away. I know it's disgusting but then I'm used to dealing with disgusting these days.

And to think I was almost getting thinner not too long ago until my stint in the hospital which cut short the whole calorie-burning-more-effective-than-any-exercise breastfeeding thing I had going on..sigh

My new so-called exercise plan is to walk to the park with my daughter every day which I've been doing so far except when it rains..but i don't really think it qualifies as exercise as I'm not so much walking as I am just strolling along, holding on to Amani's hand and watching with amusement at the joggers coming at me with their red sweaty faces. I know they'll have the last laugh but for the moment, I might as well enjoy making fun of them in my head.

Reality Check For The Ancient Mom

Reality Check 1:

Danish is 1. Feels like just yesterday the doctor placed him in my arms, all gooey and screaming. Now he is 1. Sarah is 4. Adam will be 8 in December. I am bloody ancient.

Reality Check 2:

Met a colleague yesterday. Haven't met him for a couple of years. His statement "You look different. You used to be hot". Damn. Felt like he poured ice water all over me. Have I really let myself go?

Reality Check 3:

After that ice water incident with the not so subtle colleague, went home and looked in the mirror. Really looked in the mirror. Face sagging. Body bloated. Hair dry and oh-so-makcik. I need a facelift. I need Botox. I need a hair restyling. I need a liposuctuon. I need a total makeover. I am bloody ancient.

Damn.. really have to do something about this. Starting with making myself feel better with that big bar of chocolate..